Going Down in La-La Land by Zeffer Andy

Author:Zeffer, Andy [Zeffer, Andy]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Andy Zeffer
Published: 2011-06-20T04:00:00+00:00

A New John

“Shit!” I yelled in exasperation.

The tape gun got messed up again for the hundredth time that af­ternoon, sticking tape everywhere but the package. Ron was raking in the bucks from his perverted flicks, couldn’t he spring for a tape gun where the blade wasn’t dulled down to nothing?

“How’s our newest star doing?” a familiar flat voice asked from be­hind.

Speak of the devil.

“Ron, you gotta give me some cash to run to Staples with. Every tape gun in this warehouse is useless,” I grumbled.

“Here,” he said, and pulling out his wallet slapped some twenties in my hand. “Check to see if we need any other supplies while you’re at it.”

“No problem,” I said, looking down at the tape gun and trying to peel apart the jumbled mess.

“There’s something else I need to talk to you about,” Ron suddenly lowered his voice and took on an expression of gravity. He looked so stupid when he took on an air of importance. Where other people just say what’s needed to be said, it was as if Ron was coaching himself.

“Let me shut the door first,” he said, turning around and stepping in between the stacks of boxes.

This odd bit of intriguing behavior during what was an otherwise excruciatingly monotonous afternoon stole my attention away from the tape gun and made me take notice.

“Listen,” Ron said to me in a lowered voice, “I have another client for you, a very important, high-paying client.”

“Okay. Cool. I could use the money,” I said.

What I wanted to say was “Is that all?” and “Haven’t we been down this road before, so what’s the big deal?”

Sometimes Ron’s theatrics made me think he really wanted to be an actor. Shit, he probably came to this town for that very reason him­self, until realizing he didn’t have a prayer.

“Now, I mean this one is very important. He’s not just well-known in the business like Wayne Hanley, he is a huge star,” Ron said almost in a scolding tone, as if to chastise me for my casual response.

“Who? Another butt-munching munchkin?” I asked in mock ea­gerness.

“You’re not going to believe me when I tell you,” Ron said, ignor­ing my smart-ass humor. “And it is of grave importance that word doesn’t get out. He is paying for discretion, in addition to your looks.”

“That’s fine,” I said, annoyed at the suggestion that this whole business was the biggest thrill of my life, something I’d go flaunting around town like a homecoming queen showing off her crown and sash.

“I’m not going to go blabbing to anybody. So who is it?”

“Let me give you a hint. He is a big daddy, but not the kind of daddy we typically think of. He plays one of America’s most beloved fathers on TV.”

“Oh for Christ sakes, I have no clue!” I said in exasperation. “Will you just tell me already, Ron?”

“All right, all right, lower your voice,” Ron said in an unnecessary panic. There was nobody around the place but the two of us in a closed room.

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